


Maybe We're Heading to Apocalypse

by arte



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3233045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arte/pseuds/arte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Good Omens AU. Naomi as Aziraphael and Rowena as Crowley.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe We're Heading to Apocalypse

There's a little, but immaculate book store in the corner of Lebanon, Kansas. Although it's an old building that no one really knows how long it has been standing, there's no crack in the white paint and its windows gleam. Even the doorknob is polished. From any other store, the overall tidiness would have been a sure enough signal to the customers that they are welcome. However, the perfect management of the building turns them off even faster than the forbidding closed sign at the door. People shuffle away uneasily as they're reminded of a dentist's office. They imagine that the only reason they can't hear the drilling sound and pained cry from the store is because of its no doubt formidable sound proof system. The commonsense that a book store has no reason to have drills escape everyone's mind.

Of course, there are brave souls who venture to the place despite their fear- die hard bibliophiles and true followers of capitalism. Both types usually come out empty handed, except that the latter somehow always end up forgetting the reason for their visit. Luckily, no one linger on their confusion much as sudden and inexplicable desire for order rushes in and pushes them to use their time productively. 

On this day, yet another men in ironed suits walk out with dazed but determined steps. A red haired woman watches their little march behind dark sunglasses, leaning against a black Bentley. She pushes herself up with amused smile and slinks toward the store, a dainty box in her hand. 

When she opens the door, there's no owner in sight, only rows of books precisely stored on the shelves. She perches her sunglasses atop her head and moves along slowly, pulling out random books a centimeter or two and messing up the order. Satisfied with her deed, she goes down the stair and to the hidden room in the store. 

True to her prediction, a brunette woman is there, her hair tied up in a neat bun. She doesn't look up as she flips the page.

"Rowena, if I find even the tiniest new nick in the books-"

"Naomi dear, you wound me," the red head puts her hand above her heart theatrically. "We've known each other for millennia. You're threatening little old me?" 

Naomi finally turns, her eyebrow raised. "So you didn't touch any of my books?"

"Oh, I was just adding a bit of character in your store," Rowena waves her hand. "But your precious books are intact, never fear."

Although this little sniping is their way of greeting each other, Rowena thinks that Naomi is being a bit paranoid here. She hasn't destroyed the angel's collection ever since that unfortunate incident in Mesopotamia. She is capable of learning a lesson. There's no reason to nag her everytime. Besides, Rowena is reasonably sure that Naomi enjoys a little messiness that she brings in. Naomi takes great pleasure in putting everything in order, and it's hard to put everything in more order when they're already in a perfect state.

"I like my store the way it is." 

"Of course, darling," Rowena smiles indulgently. "Now, why don't you put away your book? I brought a little treat." She swings the little box between her fingers for emphasis.

"Well, that's gracious of you, but this book is-"

"Have I mentioned that this is forêt noire from the patisserie in Paris we visited last year?"

Naomi stops. Rowena tries not to grin too big because that's not what she does. She knows how to gloat with dignity. The stoic angel and her weakness against sweets brings her such joy. 

"You tempter," Naomi shakes her head, but closes her book. "I guess it wouldn't hurt for me to rest for awhile."

"I completely agree."

"I'm guessing you would require tea?" Naomi asks resignedly, as if Rowena is causing a fuss about her choice of beverage. Why can't you just drink coffee, she asks! Rowena tsks her tongue at Naomi's poor taste, but decides to forgive her as the angel did learn how to brew a proper cup of tea during their acquaintance.

"Of course, and use my tea set if you will," Rowena says over her shoulder as she steps out to the dining area. The angel would kill her if she were to bring food anywhere near her books. Naomi is obsessively possessive of them, no matter how much she preaches that greed is a sin that angels don't have.

Just as Rowena finishes setting the cake in an aesthetically pleasing way, Naomi comes back with the golden tea set on the tray, all of which the demon pushed into her possession awhile ago.

"I can't believe you actually gave these to me for practical use," the angel sighs.

"Why else would I give them to you?"

"To enjoy cluttering my place with tacky objects?"

"Why, I would never-" Rowena stops at Naomi's unimpressed stare. "Well, I would, but these are certainly not tacky. Why I would choose something tacky when I knew that it would be mostly me that have to drink from them?"

"That was ultimately why I didn't throw them away," Naomi confesses. "It set in the dark corner of my cupboard and was used to remind me how poor your taste is."

"You just don't know how to live a life, angel. Not everyone thrives in such Spartan atmosphere."

"Not everyone needs dramatics like you, demon. Simple is the best," Naomi counters, but her argument is weakened as she bites into the elegantly decorated cake. She can't quite conceal the expression of bliss from her face, and even with her stiff grey suit, she now looks much relaxed.

"Yes, darling, cake is such simple food, isn't it?" says Rowena, delighted. It briefly crosses her mind that she gets such warm and fluttery feeling everytime she catches the angel behind her stern exterior. Without much contemplation, she puts it off as a sense of accomplishement at tempting the great challenge.

Naomi narrows her blue eyes at the cheeky question, but doesn't come back with sharp retoret as she isn't yet quite out of her chocolate induced haze. She swallows and finally asks, "Why are you here, Rowena? Although I appreciate the cake, weren't we suppose to meet next week?"

"Well, yes, but I needed somewhere to vent," Rowena drapes herself across the chair dramatically.

"Demons criticizing your method again?" 

The angel's response is a testament of how far their relationship has evolved. After intense period of animosity, Rowena's _We're all part of God's ineffable plan, so let us both do what we do best and cease the pointless scruffle_ argument luckily appealed to Naomi's sense of duty and proper place. As time went on they begun to realize that they could be just frank with each other, because honestly, who were they going to report about trite complaints and approval about Earthly life from the other side? Everyone has been either too uninterested or too invested. Rowena thinks that the time she convinced the angel to get in Arrangement with her has to be one of her finest moments. 

"That, too," Rowena says, coming out of her thoughts. "But look at this," she snaps her fingers and a stack of papers appear at the corner of the table.

"Papers?" Naomi asks with slight raise of her brow. She has her own reports to finish, and they're longer than this. 

"Not just papers, two hundred and thirty six pages of papers!" When the gaze she receive isn't sympathetic enough, Rowena gives into her most earnest tone. "Maybe you're used to all this, but Hell isn't for rules and regulations, angel. We were suppose to be free of all this. Why did it have to be infested with bureaucracy?"

"You were the one who created bureaucracy within humanity," Naomi points out reasonably.

"Yes, because I hated it! Who knew Hell would readopt it?" Rowena counters just as reasonably. She picks up her fork, pops in a conciliatory piece of cake and grumbles, "I bet it was Crowley. That sod loves it."

Naomi hmms in agreement. She may have never met Crowley in person, but she is well familiar with the image of Crowley that Rowena has constructed. She knows that everything Rowena says have to be taken with a grain of salt. "Order isn't a bad thing, Rowena. Maybe there's yet a chance for Hell."

"Yes, to become more Hellish," Rowena shakes her head. "What about Heaven, as orderly as usual?"

"I haven't stayed for long so I wouldn't know," says Naomi, but her pursed lips tell that something is on her mind. "But some angels... they were becoming dangerously interested in Humanity."

"Oh?"

"They wanted to hear my stories."

Rowena laughs as the image of Naomi in the middle of the gaggle of children begging for story time comes into her mind. Of course, there were no chubby babies with wings in Heaven, but it's fun nonetheless.

She tapers into occasional snorts at Naomi's baleful look. "What's so problematic about that? Tell them. Angels can be curious."

"Until they Fall."

That stings a bit. Rowena can't help straightening her spine. 

"Not like that," Naomi amends, not unkindly. "I heard some of them were contemplating... turning human."

"They do know that how painful that is, right?" Rowena blanches. She doesn't thinkg about her Fall -or sauntering slightly downward as she likes to put it- as the memory is painful, but the rumour has it that turning human is far more painful than that. She can understand why anyone would want to risk that and also give away the mojo. Sure, humanity is interesting in ways that Heaven and Hell are not, but that's no reason to give up all the perks.

"They're young," Naomi says as if that explains everything.

"Can't they just, hang out on Earth like you do?"

"They have their duties. I'm stationed on Earth. I don't _hang out_."

"You do," Rowena insists. "You enjoys music, food, and books and everything."

"It's my job to blend in."

"Sure," Rowena says drily. She saw how Naomi blended in by chasing away her visitors less than an hour ago. Sometimes, the angel is downright delusional. "So what, angels wanna play and don't wanna work anymore?"

"Some are," the disapproval and worry are clear in her blue eyes. "I don't know who's taking care of the young ones these days."

"Just be thankful that it's not your job," Rowena stretches and flops on the chair. She stares at the spotless ceiling. "Carefree Heaven and dutiful Hell, do you think we're approaching the Apocalypse?"

"Those aren't signs of Apocalypse, Rowena."

"I know," she bends forward and rests her head on the table. "It would be neat, though. Somebody save me from the paperwork."

"I'm not helping you, demon."

"Blessed," Rowena curses.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write some spn ladies fic since there were so many interesting characters in recent season :) Maybe Alex could take the position of Adam Young and get adopted by Donna and Jody couple. Hmm.. all girs rendition of Good Omens, perhaps?


End file.
